How to Build a Personality that Influences & Creates Constructive Outcomes During Conflicts

There are those that immediately come to mind when we look for someone to resolve conflict or add a positive perspective to a situation. These people command respect, exude wisdom and radiate calm. This self-assured warm energy makes us feel safe, relaxed and trusting.

What creates that element of authority, empathy and awareness in others, that we readily allow ourselves to be influenced by them, putting ourselves in their hands during our crisis situations, heeding their views and following their suggestions? Is this an innate and natural ability, or can one work on developing these qualities? Can we all be that person who influences, resolves and guides others and our own selves constructively during disagreements and clashes?

No strength on the outside can truly be asserted unless one has an inner grip on themselves. There needs to be a conscious and deliberate awareness of one’s own triggers. A conviction of one’s core values, with an empathetic disposition towards others and their situations helps us be confident, genuine and warm

To have managed one’s own crisis and conflict with grace, power and success encourages others to trust us, while it ensures that we trust ourselves. As we do so, we present ourselves with authority and stability, then becoming the person who is capable of influencing constructive outcomes.

 

Inner stability

A calm composed and centred mind comes from generating a deeper wisdom during moments of turmoil and trouble. Even a few seconds of pausing and absorbing what has just happened, prompts us to understand and discern the situation, driving us towards productive, collected and assertive responses.

We can resist the temptation to instantly react in vain and to no purpose by simply counting to 5 before we respond. This exercise builds resilience, a powerful trait that gives birth to restraint and authority.

 

Genuine intent – Don’t look for credit

There must be an honest aim to resolve, to help, to make the situation better. We may feel flattered that we are being called upon to assist or mediate, and our egos often come in the way, negating genuine intent. Don’t look for credit and keep humility levels high. Don’t make it about you, but shift the focus totally to what others may be facing and the situation that needs to be successfully settled.

Recommended read: 10 Ways Your Executive Presence Impacts Team Dynamics

 

Play fair

Look to understand objectively, keeping all biases aside. We do have preconceived notions, preferences and judgement; however at these times we must cultivate the art of keeping our slate clean. Do this by truly understanding the situation as it is, and what those involved need or desire. This earns trust, and so the influence.

When you play fair, you are prompting others to do the same. It is an excellent way of displaying integrity and strength of character.

Be broad-minded

Be open to receiving new thoughts, receptive and willing to consider new ideas. There are often many solutions and possibilities, but we are so limited in our thinking that we block the probability of better solutions that could benefit all parties.

When you can’t find a breakthrough, open yourself to a new lens, new thoughts and an expanded mind. There are so many ways in which one thing can be done, and the only thing that stops it is our own set approaches, methods or practices.

Contemplate on what could be beyond the zone of the usual, and you will meet interesting innovative solutions.

Develop care

Care about what happens after. The true success of a productive outcome in a conflict situation is how far that resolution remains to be successful. Does it truly solve the issue? Is it sustainable? What are the other possible outcomes, even in the long run? Care not just about the matter but about the people.

Listen objectively, actively, with empathy and fairness. This creates a safe space for the others. Exuding authority is not about acting big, but conducting yourself with quiet confidence, a willing heart, and keen interest.

People loved reading: 11 Habits of Effective Leaders Who Master Executive Presence Like a Pro

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