From social timidity to confident expression

From social timidity to confident expression

Having struggled with making friends, contributing at meetings, and conversing at social events, this lady came to me timid and lonely.

Communication is probably one of the most important skills to build, helping us create meaningful relationships, share thoughts, and gain knowledge. How can there be learning without the give-and-take of ideas? And how can there be beautiful connections without the exchange of dialogue?

The coaching journey created incredible insights, taking us from recognizing limitations that needed to be addressed and identifying blocks that required re-thinking, to developing specific skills and helping to reduce the timidness.

Aligning the talk in our head with our outward physical expression is key to speaking with conviction, passion and clarity. Conciseness, brevity helps us articulate our message, put a structure into our speech, keeping the listener’s attention

Breathing diaphragmatically helps put power in the voice, while slowing the heart rate to overcome nervousness. As count-downs increase edginess, we experimented with tools that keep us in the moment.

A curiosity, open-mindedness, is needed for conversation to flow. To be interesting, be interested. It is about shifting the focus from you to the other person, and being immersed in listening. We usually listen with the intention to respond, and not with the intention to understand.

Inflection, modulation through practice must eventually come naturally, for an authenticity, impacting the tone of voice. Simply with the right tone, choice of words and body language, many disagreements can be settled peacefully.

We touched on diction, expanding vocabulary and pronunciation, however we need not be conscious of our accent. It is who we are.

Slowing down the pace, lowering the pitch, and taking a pause gives weight to our views, gives us time to gather our thoughts, allows the listener to absorb our message

Finally, we look at how we talk to ourselves. We can’t be assertive in our communication, if we feed our minds with passive statements and self-doubt. What comes out is what we believe, and tell ourselves.

We build a speaking persona, unique to ourselves, that must be celebrated. We must not be shy of speaking out, speaking up, and expressing ourselves.

It matters that we be heard, it matters that we share, contribute, resolve conflict and have fulfilling lives. We all have a voice. Let’s use it eloquently, with finesse, flair and confidence.

“My experience with you was incredible. I have observed a change in me after each session. I can feel myself being a lot more confident and I am able to make and continue conversations.”

Happy to say this lady became more confident, reconnected with old friends, and was able to make new acquaintances.

What are the communication challenges people most face?

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