“She has personality”, is what we sometimes hear about someone. Does everyone not have a personality, I question. Some people have no personality, is the remark I get in response.
The word personality comes from the Latin word persona, referring to a theatrical mask worn by actors to disguise their identities or play certain roles. The persona however anchors itself into a personality only through consistent patterns in the way we think, feel and behave.
So when a person is thought of as having no personality, it is really that there is no identification or individuality that sets them apart. There are those that may have an introverted and quiet personality. And there is nothing wrong with that. That could be effective in its own way.
Our personality is felt by others. It is an intangible quality that is sensed through our actions and our way of being. It is how we are seen and experienced by others. And as no one thrives in isolation, we social beings will always showcase our personality, whether we intend to or not. Doing so, we invite reactions, experiencing consequences to our disposition. “He has quite a personality”. What does that mean? The observer may be charmed or not, but there is no doubt an impact. They are noticed, seen and heard.
I get asked to help people develop their personality. To develop is to grow from. There is a foundation, a starting point that must be recognised, understood, tweaked if so desired, and plainly accepted for successful personal enhancement to happen.
A Natural disposition
Most of who we are, what we believe in and the way we act, react and respond comes to us through learned behaviours based on what we have seen or been told. Much of this is then expanded on from the life experiences we have and the situations we face.
It is necessary here for us to question how our actions and outlook sits with us? What is our emotional state? Do we feel connected within? Does it feel right? What are the consequences? An exercise to assess, question, reflect and gain awareness helps us sift our truth from the feigned. Align with your values, being in sync with who you are, and you are on your way to creating magnetism. You no longer confuse others or yourself. This is just the first step that leads to the alluring power of conviction
A Self-Assurance
There is something so attractive about confidence and we all want it. That charisma is really watching someone walk tall, with conviction, a knowing that they will stand up for what they believe in, be it for themselves or others. An embodiment of courage, it is an innate belief in oneself that could be illustrated with determined calm and humble assertiveness. They are so sure they need not be loud and pompous.
Conviction followed by confidence only comes in when one is no longer ashamed in any way of who they are. They have gone through the process of screening, filtering and refining, to come to what resonates and what brings to them the desired result, impact and mental state. We are charmed by those who are comfortable in their skin, of those who are aware of how they come across and how they impact those around them. This self-assurance prompts us to walk tall with a definite stride, a spring in our step and a spine of steel.
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An Unforced Influence
We are always interacting with others, even when we are face down behind a desk all day long. Our personality and degree of influence shows up. Now that we have the awareness and clarity, sifting out what works from what does not, there is a natural tendency to live it.
As you do so, you invite reactions (possibly different ones), and consequences (possibly different ones) and you recognize the impact you have on those around you. The focus here is on interpersonal relationships. You exude a certain authority from your self-belief, which is appealing for it is not from outer forced expression of ‘power over’ but an inner conviction of ‘power within’.
You develop heightened outer-awareness, sensitive to the environment and to those around you, able to perceive and receive, adapting and adjusting your actions for a desired and favourable outcome for all. This kind consideration coupled with strong character dictates your words, thoughts and deeds, churning out a most admirable personality.
This fine-tuning of your personality happens continuously and expands through the multitude of experiences, interactions, and situations you face. As you develop yourself, you become far more aware of how others react to you, and what works best for desired or successful results. You are increasingly aware of actions and the effect you are having on others and the world around you..
You figure out the best of you, matching and bringing together your innate self with what is expected of you for others to also grow, move forward and have great results. That is then the charisma you radiate. That is then the influence you exude.
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