Having a confident personality is not the same as being a confident person.
We work on projecting a confident personality, learning the right postures, expressions and a bold way to speak, but how we feel about ourselves on the inside is really what gives us away, exposing what is true.
We are primarily sensory beings, making assumptions through impressions we form. Those impressions come from the external stimuli we receive and decipher with our intuition or gut feeling.
It is not our analytical mind that decodes another’s behaviour. It is our feelings that stir us to read a person.
We do not observe other people’s behaviour intellectually. Instead we catch a drift of what they are like through what we ‘pick up’, vibrationally.
What we feel about ourselves therefore shows on the outside, loud and clear
When we act in a way that is not true to us, faking it, the effort depletes us of valuable energy that could otherwise be focused on productive attention in the moment.
Attention in the moment allows us to handle situations effectively when they do not go according to script or when we are caught unawares. We are not in the masking mode but in our real self. How we respond demonstrates how ‘true’ we are being. People ‘hear’ and resonate with ‘true’.
We can get over the need to conform, compare and match up
Trying to disguise who we are robs us of our own story, a story that could lead to greatness. You can only be yourself, for no one can be anyone else other than themself. Striving to be someone else only intimidates us further. We have not had their past. So we cannot be their current or their future. We can only be ours.
Be okay with not always being okay…for ‘okay’ is relative to each person and each situation.
Do you want to be on an endless journey of trying to be enough? For it is endless. There is always someone or something out there that can make us feel inadequate.
This is not to say you cannot have role models, heroes and dreams. Take the inspiration and the lessons from their success to motivate yourself towards your own journey, enhancing your story, and achieving success that is unique to you.
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Redefine the status of your success.
We are seduced by the idea of success of others, and the allure entices us to elaborate on it. As we build on its grandness, we see ourselves as failures. We have not been backstage to see the mess, the hardship, the struggle or the defeats before their success was visible.
Reflect on how far you have come. Look at what you have achieved. Celebrate it.
Reflect on where you want to be, what you want to become, what you want to achieve. Be clear on your talents, strengths, abilities and desires.
Note your weaknesses or shortcomings and what you may need to improve on. Focus on your strengths and abilities and build on them. We tend to give more time to our weaker areas, and not enough time to our strengths.
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Do more of what you are good at and take it to another level
This allows you to be okay with not being okay in certain areas. You are clear on what you can’t do, and what you can do, you do exceptionally well. Your self-assurance will be picked up by others.
Let go of being too ready, too good, too right or too perfect
Take action. No one gained confidence by waiting on the side-lines. Action is powerful. Take a chance on yourself. To be confident is to first have confidence in your own actions. It’s a step you cannot ignore. Go and grab that seat in the front row. Take the initiative to greet someone instead of waiting for them to come to you. Make your point in a meeting. Raise an objection if you need to. Apply for that job. Ask them out on a date. Accept the suggestion to make a speech.
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Keep optimism alive
Have fun. Much, or almost all of what we do or become starts first in the mind. Keep a mental state that keeps your energy levels high and your emotions positive.
The best work has come seamlessly when one is enjoying what they do. Positive feelings help us attempt, pursue and thrive. We work with hope and optimism. We believe. We trust ourselves. We trust a higher power that is guiding us. We become determined to keep going, to do our best, to be our best.
We carry an aura of confidence that is radiated in the atmosphere. That is true inner confidence.
Live a full life, with confidence, dignity and gratitude